Be Original...

Dare to Be An Original

When you dare to be an original you are in essence daring to be "yourself" and everything that encompasses who you really are. To many of us, that can be a scary and daunting proposition.

And why is that?

Because it means putting ourselves on the line. It means subjecting ourselves to scrutiny, judgment and possible ridicule. It means exposure and vulnerability.

Certainly there is more comfort to be found in conformity, lying low, and blending in with the crowd. 

There is also boredom, complacency, and the prospect of never living to your potential.

It takes courage and self-confidence to dare to be an original - to reveal your uniqueness and to show that you're one of a kind. However, as with any frightening endeavor, the rewards of overcoming obstacles and prevailing far outweigh the consequences of not venturing forth.

As the late Steve Jobs noted in his speech at a Stanford University graduation commencement: 

"Your time is limited; so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

It's true. Life is too short to live it trying to be anything other than your true, original self. Be who you are, and be it the best way you know how. Celebrate your individuality and uniqueness. Dare to be an original!

Tips on how to be an original or your true self:

• ·         Know who you are. Before you can be yourself, you must know who that is, and then be true to that self. Centuries ago Socrates wisely observed that self-knowledge is the pillar of all virtue. Without it nothing else is genuine.

• ·         Trust your intuition and instincts. Part of knowing who you are is trusting your intuition and instincts. We all have an inner gauge that guides us along our most fulfilling path. Look deep within to find the answers to your life. No one is better at knowing what you need and want from life than you. Of course, it is prudent to listen to the advice of family, friends and professionals, but you are the ultimate authority on you. You are unique and original and no one but you can make your decisions for you. To go against that intuition is to go against your fundamental nature and source of satisfaction.

• ·         Express yourself by cultivating your own style, tastes and personality. Many people try to be like those who seem to be popular. Rather than work on developing themselves they try to copy others and lose themselves in the process. Much time is wasted in such pursuits and the results are disillusionment and feelings of failure. When you work on cultivating your own style, tastes and personality, not only are you genuine and authentic, you're more interesting and attractive to others. Let go of fear and embrace your uniqueness. Make your life an expression of who you are.

As Steve Jobs said, have the courage to follow your heart. If you desire to be an artist, don't settle for being an accountant because your parents want you to be, or because you can make more money at it. In the end you will lose out because the money won't matter if you're unhappy, unmotivated or depressed. 

• ·         Believe in yourself and don't worry about what others think. When you choose the right path for yourself do not allow the opinions of others to distract you. People are good at offering well-intentioned, unsolicited opinions, however only you know what's best for you. Don't let a lack of self-confidence or self-doubt prevent you from pursuing what you know is best for you. Let go of your personal insecurities. If you strive to be someone you're not, you will never be happy. Be yourself. Be proud of who you are. People who have a more positive view of themselves live better, healthier lives.

When you dare to be an original, you dare to be courageous, strong, and vibrant and are willing to realize the full potential of your unique skills and talents.

The Benefits of Being an Original:

o    You are true to yourself; therefore derive greater personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

o    You are more noticed, interesting, and attractive to others.

o    You are willing to take risks, think originally and be creative, therefore are open to greater career opportunities and advancement.

o    Due to a willingness to let go of convention, you live life to the fullest and on your terms.

o    Whether in your career, the arts, or in your community, you offer a fresh, new, diverse perspective.

o    You are usually a trailblazer, set new trends and discover new ways of doing things.

Top Ways To Improve Personality

Ways to Improve Your Personality

Contrary to what you may think, you can improve your personality! Until quite recently it was believed that personality is permanent.

In 1890 William James, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote in his influential work The Principles of Psychology, that personality was "set in plaster" by early adulthood.

This view prevailed for over a century; however, the idea that personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now at the point where we realize that we have influence and control over which traits and characteristics we want to develop or refine.

What is Personality?

The personality is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that make a person unique.

When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that they are likeable, interesting and pleasant to be with. 

Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is vital - probably even more so than good looks. In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness will be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately, it is your personality that determines whether people are attracted to, or shy away from you.

While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we have the ability to improve the personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate any trait we deem fitting and agreeable.

Here are some ways we can accomplish this:

1.    Be a better listener. 

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel like you're the only person in the world.

2.    Read more and expand your interests.

The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them.

3.    Be a good conversationalist. 

This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so it's refreshing to learn from others those things we don't have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what you know.

4.    Have an Opinion.

There is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to be with socially (unless you're a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook expands everyone's perspective.

5.    Meet New People. 

Make the effort to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons. 

6.    Be yourself. 

The next most tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you're not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.

7.    Have a positive outlook and attitude. 

Who wants to be around people, who are negative, complaining a lot, or have nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your presence.

8.    Be fun and see the humorous side of life.

Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile, so look for the humorous, quirky side in a situation - there always is one. Comic relief is a much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.

9.    Be supportive of others. 

Being supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging believes in us and helps pick us up when we're down.

10. Have Integrity and treat people with respect.

Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than integrity and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.

Develop Good Communication..

How to Develop Good Communication Skills

The ability to communicate effectively is important in relationships, education and work. Here are some steps and tips to help you develop good communication skills.

Understanding the Basics of Communication Skills

1. Know what communication really is. 

Communication is the process of transferring signals/messages between a sender and a receiver through various methods (written words, nonverbal cues, spoken words). It is also the mechanism we use to establish and modify relationships.

2. Have courage to say what you think. 

Be confident in knowing that you can make worthwhile contributions to conversation. Take time each day to be aware of your opinions and feelings so you can adequately convey them to others. Individuals who are hesitant to speak because they do not feel their input would be worthwhile need not fear. What is important or worthwhile to one person may not be to another and may be more so to someone else.

3. Practice. 

Developing advanced communication skills begins with simple interactions. Communication skills can be practiced every day in settings that range from the social to the professional. New skills take time to refine, but each time you use your communication skills, you open yourself to opportunities and future partnerships.

Engaging Your Audience

1. Make eye contact.

Whether you are speaking or listening, looking into the eyes of the person with whom you are conversing can make the interaction more successful. Eye contact conveys interest and encourages your partner to be interested in you in return.

·        One technique to help with this is to consciously look into one of the listener’s eyes and then move to the other eye. Going back and forth between the two makes your eyes appear to sparkle. Another trick is to imagine a letter “T” on the listener’s face ,with the crossbar being an imaginary line across the eye brows and the vertical line coming down the center of the nose. Keep your eyes scanning that “T” zone.

2. Use gestures.

These include gestures with your hands and face. Make your whole body talk. Use smaller gestures for individuals and small groups. The gestures should get larger as the group that one is addressing increases in size.

3. Don’t send mixed messages. 

Make your words, gestures, facial expressions and tone match. Disciplining someone while smiling sends a mixed message and is therefore ineffective. If you have to deliver a negative message, make your words, facial expressions, and tone match the message.

4. Be aware of what your body is saying. 

Body language can say so much more than a mouthful of words. An open stance with arms relaxed at your sides tells anyone around you that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say.

·        Arms crossed and shoulders hunched, on the other hand, suggest disinterest in conversation or unwillingness to communicate. Often, communication can be stopped before it starts by body language that tells people you don't want to talk.

·        Appropriate posture and an approachable stance can make even difficult conversations flow more smoothly.

5. Manifest constructive attitudes and beliefs. 

The attitudes you bring to communication will have a huge impact on the way you compose yourself and interact with others. Choose to be honest, patient, optimistic, sincere, respectful, and accepting of others. Be sensitive to other people's feelings, and believe in others' competence.

6. Develop effective listening skills:

Not only should one be able to speak effectively, one must listen to the other person's words and engage in communication on what the other person is speaking about. Avoid the impulse to listen only for the end of their sentence so that you can blurt out the ideas or memories your mind while the other person is speaking.

Using Your Words

1. Enunciate your words. 

Speak clearly and don’t mumble. If people are always asking you to repeat yourself, try to do a better job of articulating yourself in a better manner.

2. Pronounce your words correctly.

People will judge your competency through your vocabulary. If you aren’t sure of how to say a word, don’t use it. Improve your vocabulary by reading new words in daily routine. Look in the dictionary to help you learn how to pronounce a new word.

3. Use the right words.

If you’re not sure of the meaning of a word, don’t use it. Grab a dictionary and start a daily habit of learning one new word per day. Use it sometime in your conversations during the day.

4. Slow your speech down.

People will perceive you as nervous and unsure of yourself if you talk fast. However, be careful not to slow down to the point where people begin to finish your sentences just to help you finish.

5. Develop your voice.

A high or whiny voice is not perceived to be one of authority. In fact, a high and soft voice can make you sound like prey to an aggressive co-worker or make others not take you seriously. Begin doing exercises to lower the pitch of your voice. Try singing, but do it an octave lower on all your favorite songs. Practice this and, after a period of time, your voice will begin to lower.

6. Animate your voice.

Avoid a monotone and use dynamics. Your pitch should raise and lower periodically. Radio DJ's are usually a good example of this.

7. Use appropriate volume.

Use a volume that is appropriate for the setting. Speak more softly when you are alone and close. Speak louder when you are speaking to larger groups or across larger spaces.

Stop Comparing With Other.

Don’t Compare Yourself With Others

One destructive habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other
people and their lives.

You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity
and so on.

And at the end of the day you create a lot of negative feelings within. And perhaps
also outside of yourself.

But how can you stop doing it? Or at least get control of it and use it in a better

way? Well, here are five tips that have helped me.

1. Be kind.

The way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on
how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself.

Judge people more and you tend to judge yourself more. Be more kind to other
people and help them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.

A bit counter intuitive perhaps, but that has been my experience. The more you
love other people, the more your love yourself.

So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. This is very helpful to move
away from judging yourself and others so much. And instead focus on the positive
things in yourself and the people around you.

You become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of
ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind.

You are OK and so are they.

2. Don't fall into the trap of hero worship.

When you start to make myths out of people - even though they may have
produced extraordinary results - you run the risk of becoming disconnected from

them.

You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did
because they are so very different. So it's important to keep in mind that everyone
is just a human being no matter who they are.

When you have some heroes you are likely to think more about the opposite too.
And place people into neat and tidy folders. You may create villain-like images of
people in your world.

But in truth, things can be kinda messy. Putting someone on a pedestal or making
a villain out of them create barriers in your head and life. It may give you a sense
of being right. But it can hold you back from positive experiences too.

Openness is in the long run more fun than being judgmental.

3. Just realize that you can't win.

Just consciously realizing this can be helpful. No matter what you do you can
pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are

better than you at something.

Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than you neighbor. But
a week or two later you'll see someone from the next block with an even finer car
than yours.

4. Give up both sides of comparing.

If you can't stop doing the negative comparisons then stop doing them both.

Because if you're in the headspace where you compare to feel better about
yourself then it's hard to stop it and not also start to compare in way that make
you feel worse and inferior.

So you may need to step out of that whole comparing habit because the two sides
are often connected. Give up the upside to be able to move away from the
downside.

5. Compare yourself to yourself.

Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing
yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and
what progress you have made towards your goals.

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness
towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have
overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without
having to think less of other people.

Have a great and self-kind day!